It is absolutely commendable that many fathers have now reached a point where they recognize that a vibrant and caring relationship with their children not only chore has to be, but also enrich their own and the life the children may present. It is likely that a large part of those men who are ready and willing to play a role in the lives of their children, this effectively . Create
exhausted his father is not alone in the Sunday stroller or push in the abandonment of work beer and sports show in favor of playing with the children or the bedtime story. His father also means being the sex role-giving role to the child, that is the prototype of the first, exemplary man justice. Depending on how a father is present and is as much with themselves as husband and father at peace, the shape will influence the behavior of his son or daughter in dealing with your own or the opposite sex in one way or the other and. In the quality of his intercourse with the children in their basic relationship to be decided themselves and to other people. The more it is welcome that more and more fathers are fathers like and maintain close contact with their children to accompany their development as a loving and trustworthy person for children are available. It also shows the children that is also: How can men be!
If the marriage or relationship and it seems the family is largely intact, the desire to play a role as a father in the lives of children, to realize not that hard. In case of separation or divorce of the couple, however, it looks different.
do men have a say here now a word, and of course, and rightly so. They are the obvious in question, the principle is still assumed that children remain with their mother after separation. They call for the participation in the rights of, and rightly demanding that it not be left to the mercy of the mothers stay, whether they be near their children than fathers may or may not.
fathers complain that even though a state from which they benefited themselves to a great extent and still profit. The flat rate "The child belongs to the mother," she has in the past acquitted of all sorts of obligations and the mothers - single mothers or not - be significant. They were the mothers of the children not a negligible had part of her private life, his wishes and not least to sacrifice their career prospects. The headline "Single father loses his job because he finds no childcare place for his daughter" was a club fathers express mention. It saw only the father, which is for single mothers in fact a common practice: Slower Job opportunities with a child, poor care facilities, exclusion is left alone with the entire management about survival in everyday life, the child and their needs. To ask
would be, whether the fathers would be willing also to pay the obligations and burdens, if a judge says: "The child belongs to the Father!"
From the standpoint of a full-time job from his father who wants to see his child on the weekends, can complain very easily. A room for Junior can set up easier than a whole new life. were According to the Federal Statistical Office in 2007, only 1% of the 29 million German men, single fathers. These statistics cover unfortunately not its reasons. Would or could not be?
It brings to mind inevitably to the question of how well the relationship and have associated the task of dividing the couple's parents looked like before the separation. 66% of German men managed according to the Federal Statistical Office in 2007, no Children in the household. Only 25% of men waver in a marriage or cohabitation as a single parent at least one child under 18 large. So where are the men who were so happy fathers did during the marriage and relationship?
course, it is difficult to convey to a mother, a father who has during the marriage or relationship only sporadic care in the evening to his child, suddenly demands a divorce after a completely different approach. The presence of the father is very important for a child, but that's even before they divorce.
was in the traditional roles of this absence of the father in family well very noticeable. I myself am a child of the seventies, and was out of the very revolutionary group even at that time still the default, that Dad went to work while Mom was at home. This way, I saw my father as absent in the first place. But he was present, it is usually for the purpose of judging and punishing. I think under these circumstances, many of us grew up. All the more commendable it is that the men rush to give the relationship with their children a different quality and are present in the first place is lovely to do. However: The old cemented the role values are to be the more likely the mother is still the most trusted person of the child . Remain As is the case exclusively, any man can have from birth of his child a say in how it is represented in the structure of the family. have
men who care for itself in its intense relationship to the children and maintained a close and loving contact with them, it is also easier to teach the mothers the seriousness of their intentions with respect to the children. Of course, each of the other goes in reverse but even more to the barricades, the sooner he suspects the intentions of the other person could not possibly be based so much on the child, but rather seek to violate the ex-partner.
, The interest of both parents in fact the child's interests, as is claimed so often, then would the parents know that it is important to muster the energy for a real dialogue, ending probably in a compromise (ie, swabs and concessions from both sides calls), instead of using them on herumzuzerren the child. who
The responsibility for the escalation of the mothers custody dispute is, of course not be underestimated as well.
because of biological factors, the mother of the beginning of a closer bond with the child than the father. She held it was born, nurtured, and the child sees himself not yet separated the beginning of his life from the mother, she takes it even after birth as a true part of himself. resolve this symbiosis and the child more and more to let go is a task that the mother has to cope alone, and there is nothing comparable to afford a father would, even if he finds, of course, later in situations in which releasing emergency does.
One mother, in marriage or relationship - as is the traditional role of the case idea - has always been the primary caregiver for the child is to do with letting go even harder. In a divorce situation is required from the mother to relinquish control over the child. It is to the child suddenly to trust the Father, without even be there to.
Some mothers are in their emotional life by the divorce situation is so overwhelmed that they want to keep at least over the child and the relationship with him in control. They grasp at any cost to the child and in this situation not ready to make concessions to the father. A fundamental uncertainty at the ex-partner who may have hurt her feelings or she brings cheated, they may only read more, at least as the child relates everything to do exactly handle on as before. Customary sense of security. that also suffer under this attitude and has a child by the unusual narrowness of the new parent can be overwhelmed, is beyond question. That is why it is so important that both former partner their own feelings with regard to the separation of look as closely as possible. Only then there is the chance that the relationship problem is not moved to the child and find out the situation through awareness is a solution.
much easier and both parties would be if would not begin in the separation situation with the persuasion that the father is really a good father. If that experience could be made already in the relationship of both the mother and the children, then the circumstances are clearer, and also a mixture of the emotional world is less likely. This includes, however, that a father from the beginning its responsibilities fully and he was not only in a divorce situation think that he has children to whom he would take care of. Women have conquered with great success in the past 30 to 40 years the world of work for themselves, have demanded the privileges of men for themselves, and can now take at least to a certain extent can claim to have reached these points equal rights. Contrast, is so far the women attributed to emotional and caring field by the men voluntarily without plowing yet remained remarkably, whether from fear, as a "wimp" insult become, from career pressure, from the unwillingness to give up certain freedoms or lack of interest. Men can change that fact by their own behavior, and the women they must leave, even more, they must encourage them and realize that therein lies a relief opportunity.
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