parents who are in an ongoing separation or divorce have, it is not easy. Come to a point where we admit the failure of a marriage or relationship has to like to cook up the emotions - especially when it comes to "who gets what." That may well still, if it is the remaining, not yet shattered porcelain or the flat screen TV. With the children it looks a little different.
appears in the battle for the children so many parents are separating couples hardly a means to be too good to each other's education as unfit or harmful for the child present. Not to speak of that this is not really in focus, with whom the children have it good where they feel comfortable and what is good for their mental and physical well-being and development. Children are all too often the subject of dispute , and that's bitter. Mothers and fathers who differ, it seems rather in the main, to have the right to go. The well-fed hatred of the other, it can simply not allow the child to the all-important deal. Their own feelings of disgust and disappointment are projected onto the child, instead of having to engage constructively deals with them.
So it is for many a mother close by means of a serious to get rid of the alleged father: the child sexual abuse of .
Even if there is no evidence to refute this charge is difficult, if only once in the room. Of course, it must first be about protecting a child from sexual assault by whom whatsoever, and it is very important to follow reasonable instructions. But the effect of such an assertion is by beating and thus also the perfect way to keep fathers from their children.
In this connection, often by the "abuse of the abuse" is mentioned. No matter how valid the evidence of actual child sexual abuse after all - the conjecture is expressed and can not be withdrawn without further notice. That is, regardless of actual guilt or innocence in any case detrimental to the father. The accusation of sexual abuse is thus suitable for exercise of revenge for suffered emotional injuries that are open in a divorce or separation situation. I have no doubt that there are mothers who make use of this remedy, even where there is really no abuse.
But it is certainly not that the fathers in this fight would now back down. First, they lead the argument that the abuse Abuse will operate to strengthen plenty to battle to their own position. It is again not important, not whether they have actually been accused of sexual abuse of children by their parents or. It's much more about their mothers' abuse with abuse " generalized reproach, to make them credible, and that prophylactic . Whenever then an appropriate charge is expressed, the involved fathers can withdraw it that this happens only to neutralize them and keep them out of their children. In this way, a picture drawn by the mothers to them any real interest in the child welfare denied from the outset. In particular, members of relevant associations tend fathers in the recent past to women in general in this regard as weak and selfish character display.
On the other hand is now also in fashion that fathers representatives back the wife or mother as a perpetrator of abuse, particularly in the focus. The perpetrator of women is thus used as a counterweight to qualify the picture of the abusive father or stepfather. Undeniably, women in relation to child sexual abuse and perpetrators - a fact that was a long time under the table, as well as the abuse of male children and adolescents. However, in the context with custody and access rights discussions the offense by the women to an extent over-emphasized the need to make skeptical and allows for critical minds only one conclusion: Here it is again about exploitation.
Quite often even the so-called "False Memory Syndrome" used to discharge the accused, the memories of victims of a systematic abuse seeks to undermine.
In all these discussions about sexual abuse almost inevitably falls into the eye, how little it goes to the alleged victim, the child. There are clear, verifiable evidence of sexual abuse in fact taken place, to think of a child can not. The nature of psychological trauma - and sexual abuse is a serious injury - has now been sufficiently researched and documented. Of which are very different the stories told by many a child mum or dad for the sake of the "bad" parent. Such stories can be checked out pretty well for logical flaws.
The use of the alleged abuse of power, in the struggle for a child is particularly why so insidious and reprehensible because it causes so many places at the same irreparable harm.
First, is the damage to the child even clear if not actually a sexual abuse has happened. For my opinion it is clearly in the category of psychological abuse to stop a child to tell in for it already critical situation of separation or divorce situation, the bad untruth about a basically beloved parent, and this story remain under great pressure from in-depth interviews faithful.
If it comes as a result, moreover, that the rights of the accused parent is removed, it is obvious that a child extra in his fantasies of omnipotence may therefore develop even guilt is. "The paper may / the mom not to come to you because he / she has done bad things to you!" It will also call into question his perception when it is told, although this fact was not the case at all. Similarly, moreover, even if the other party falls into similar patterns of behavior and in turn ascends the big guns to secure the sympathy of the child for his person at all costs.
The internal chaos of a child so shamelessly used is difficult to imagine.
The damage to the actual victims of sexual violence within the family is also huge, because its credibility in the whole debate is suffering enormously. For victims, it is difficult to talk at all. Alone and the courage to turn to someone for help requires immense strength. If in the social perception of flat and reckless statements about "abuse of the abuse" Now the idea is cemented, any abuse reports were in any case only weapons in divorce and separation wars, then lose the testimony of the actual victims of weight.
Moderate voices are weaker, until finally no one listens.
The instrumentalization of the abuse allegations and the entire issue is in my abuse Eyes a disgrace. Given the plight of the victims and the still (currently including the Federal notes) very high number of abused girls and boys should prohibit, without exception, from the outset, the theme trifle and thoughtless and use it to enforce its own interests.
injured people are unfortunately very inventive when it comes to harming others. There is a little afraid to take up too deep in the box of dirty tricks to compensate for their own wounded, the grief and pain. Had the parties involved in this ugly spectacle only a couple, that would be bad in itself enough, but between the front sits the child without an advocate and without someone who stands up for his health.
The injuries suffered by it in this event, are a very high price for the absolute right possessiveness of two feuding people.
concept clarification:
I use at this point in the context of both sexual and psychological violence, the term "abuse", and only thus, is because in general usage, unfortunately enforced no better name for the facts. The term "abuse" implies that bodies and souls of children as intended and GE needs might be, which is not the case. I consider all forms of abuse, however, always as an abuse of power on the part of the practitioner of violence against his fellow man. Terms like "child molester" I would consciously avoid, for abuse should not be regarded as the shame of the child, but the shame of the perpetrator . Unfortunately, this form of sexual violence in society is far from enough and is ostracized at best superficially in the sensational press attention. For clean, differentiating concepts and considerations, unfortunately, there is little space.
