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Afghanistan and European foreign policy

Afghanistan stands out as probably the most planned and carried out most insane war since Lepanto, the battle of Islam (by accident) lost its invincibility. The war deprived of political objectives, it damages the credibility of the West very much and would give the jihadists around the world and boost motivation. Time for Europe to consider a foreign policy strategy, what is the organization as a condition of the armed forces.

The problem with the European foreign policy is the hopeless confusion of voices on the continent. The at Lepanto was not much different, even a lot worse. Thus, it might be useful to draw lessons from the then victory in the European institutions, namely, a multilateral fleet with a single management. likely to create a single European army while being quite hopeless, provided that the national interests of member countries are excluded. Therefore I suggest the following:

The armed forces fall under a single command. The member countries decide how much money do they represent the forces available. Means they can gain any (foreign) influence use. Those who have no interest paid nothing (or threatens). Member countries may, under certain conditions to fall back even to individual units if needed.

The single command can insist on the establishment of clear operating conditions (which is missing in Iraq or Afghanistan). The influence of lobbying is expected to fall dramatically. At the same time preserve the Member States have an impact on operations, in particular by allowing them to prevent them.

Could you make the jihadism clear that political goals can be achieved by indiscriminate violence, that would be a step forward. This requires, however, especially from Europe, a clear strategy and the possibility of a counter-weight presented to the United States. This can be achieved with a comparatively small force, which seeks clear policy objectives, because the U.S. armed forces have always been certain deficiencies as regards the conditions of the use or the ability to specifically (on account of relevant information) should be done.

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How it feels ... - A private story

It is a long time ago, and so are my memories of that time very vague. More than twenty-five years, ago that my parents had this terrible quarrels and parted. Only for half a year, but for a child is an eternity.

I was maybe five when it all started, but how long will it before in my parents' marriage was no longer around, I can only guess. Maybe half a year before my seventh birthday, my father was gone. There is a photo of me on my enrollment in this summer. A blonde girl shows closed-acting with very long, very thin legs and a red school bag on his back. It sits on the porch of Grandma and playing with the loop of the cornet. My father is in any of the pictures from this period, these photos and when I first looked at again, I wondered whether to start my school at all there was. I can not remember.

My oldest niece is now as old as I did, a bit older. Yesterday at his parents' barbecue-law told my brother, he would really like to travel just around the world - a reverie, as they are in a relaxed and cozy conversation are happy times from him. The little girl burst into tears. Although she was tired, but it also has a very close bond with their father, and she was only to calm down when her father assured her that he would stay home. "Papa, 'Do not travel the whole world, that's far too dangerous," insisted the small, thin girl with wet eyes and clung to her father. Thus children with six or seven years.

My father was not the whole world, he only went to another bed and then out of our house, from our everyday life. My mother went, on the barricades and then to a still-grieving to accusing victim. Such was the world back then. Initially, the two fought. To me it seems in retrospect before as though the left an eternity till today. Again and again the same scene: My Mother weeping, either at the kitchen table or in bed, my father screaming and shouting and fleeing behind, slamming the door behind him. Then seconds later the car rolled out of the garage. Date of return? Doubtful ...

My father, the deceiver, the foreign walkers was, then, consequently, the one who left the house. Our parents, we announced one evening in the living room. I still remember clearly how I sat astride the lap of my mother terribly and cried. "Dad will not go away!" But he went. From that time we visited him on Sunday in a bleak furnished apartment in the neighboring village five kilometers away. It was strange and barren and quite different than at home. Sometimes he made fried eggs. Sometimes he took us swimming in the nearby spa. But he was not there. And my mother was suffering to himself. She also was not there. No one was there.

We went to "Mother and Child Health". We were in the North Sea and in Dangast Rengshausen, a tiny hole somewhere in the Hessian. I connect with both place names the pure sadness. Shell paths, bunk beds, treading water ... All this, because it went bad mother and the father was not there. Over all was a hard to describe depression.

Many details I only know from stories. Much, much later, told a joint shopping trip my Mother once a day was my father returned, and she herself is not even been sure whether she wanted him back, but then my sister had appeared in her nightgown and begged that Dad may come back should. She was then nine, as she would want something else to do? My cousin told me the story a little different: My mother asked my sister if Papa was to move again. She put the responsibility for that decision in the hands of their oldest daughter, knowing that this would not deny. When my mother said spree said: "I have said then for your sake, yes, I have carried out the marriage for your sake!" Consistent

said to me almost my entire family, they thought I was too young have been to any of it mitzukriegen. But I have noticed a lot. Many assumptions that I had to revise cumbersome: "men are assholes, while women can not be angry, never." "Men leave a necessarily" At the same time: ! "The most important thing is that you have a man, because no you can not exist as a woman! Woman has to make sacrifices, " I find it in retrospect now no longer strange to me that those men are most attracted, were the least emotionally available, without obligation did not want to 'close ties. For I myself a long time was never able to let someone close enough to me, not when there was the prospect that he would be right back out of the dust. I thought that was not natural. To this end, it took an intense examination of my history. Of course there was in me an enormous hunger for parental care, which then had further consequences for me: I asked my father never in question, I forgave him everything and never contradicted, he did everything right, begging for his approval and affection. I went to his agony aunt when he again with me about his affairs, and leaving out the shortcomings of my mother. For my mother I was always the strong, the counselor, adult than herself, she called me whenever she in her marriage again was not clear, and just as stubbornly ignored my advice. I thought that I was responsible for the world of my parents back just a bit too far. A long and damaging history for me that has only recently come to an end because I wanted it that way.

meantime, we are long grown up, my sister and me. My sister is still the brave, good daughter, who would do anything for the recognition of the parents. Mother is always not yet divorced, but continues to suffer. My father enjoys the benefits of a wife who puts up with everything and only too willing to overlook what you want to see it is not, but it is alien to himself. Sometimes I play with the thought of what would have happened if they had actually divorced. Had they both been happier? I doubt it. And we? This too is a question that I can not answer. For me is clear, however: My parents could have made our lives easier, if they had an open and constructive set apart with their own feelings, seek advice might have. For this purpose they are to today not able to capture the inability to understand himself and then sent to the look away from himself to others. They are in principle the children and failed to grow up before they got their own children.

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"New Fathers" and the old roles

It is absolutely commendable that many fathers have now reached a point where they recognize that a vibrant and caring relationship with their children not only chore has to be, but also enrich their own and the life the children may present. It is likely that a large part of those men who are ready and willing to play a role in the lives of their children, this effectively . Create

exhausted his father is not alone in the Sunday stroller or push in the abandonment of work beer and sports show in favor of playing with the children or the bedtime story. His father also means being the sex role-giving role to the child, that is the prototype of the first, exemplary man justice. Depending on how a father is present and is as much with themselves as husband and father at peace, the shape will influence the behavior of his son or daughter in dealing with your own or the opposite sex in one way or the other and. In the quality of his intercourse with the children in their basic relationship to be decided themselves and to other people. The more it is welcome that more and more fathers are fathers like and maintain close contact with their children to accompany their development as a loving and trustworthy person for children are available. It also shows the children that is also: How can men be!

If the marriage or relationship and it seems the family is largely intact, the desire to play a role as a father in the lives of children, to realize not that hard. In case of separation or divorce of the couple, however, it looks different.

do men have a say here now a word, and of course, and rightly so. They are the obvious in question, the principle is still assumed that children remain with their mother after separation. They call for the participation in the rights of, and rightly demanding that it not be left to the mercy of the mothers stay, whether they be near their children than fathers may or may not.

fathers complain that even though a state from which they benefited themselves to a great extent and still profit. The flat rate "The child belongs to the mother," she has in the past acquitted of all sorts of obligations and the mothers - single mothers or not - be significant. They were the mothers of the children not a negligible had part of her private life, his wishes and not least to sacrifice their career prospects. The headline "Single father loses his job because he finds no childcare place for his daughter" was a club fathers express mention. It saw only the father, which is for single mothers in fact a common practice: Slower Job opportunities with a child, poor care facilities, exclusion is left alone with the entire management about survival in everyday life, the child and their needs. To ask

would be, whether the fathers would be willing also to pay the obligations and burdens, if a judge says: "The child belongs to the Father!"

From the standpoint of a full-time job from his father who wants to see his child on the weekends, can complain very easily. A room for Junior can set up easier than a whole new life. were According to the Federal Statistical Office in 2007, only 1% of the 29 million German men, single fathers. These statistics cover unfortunately not its reasons. Would or could not be?

It brings to mind inevitably to the question of how well the relationship and have associated the task of dividing the couple's parents looked like before the separation. 66% of German men managed according to the Federal Statistical Office in 2007, no Children in the household. Only 25% of men waver in a marriage or cohabitation as a single parent at least one child under 18 large. So where are the men who were so happy fathers did during the marriage and relationship?

course, it is difficult to convey to a mother, a father who has during the marriage or relationship only sporadic care in the evening to his child, suddenly demands a divorce after a completely different approach. The presence of the father is very important for a child, but that's even before they divorce.

was in the traditional roles of this absence of the father in family well very noticeable. I myself am a child of the seventies, and was out of the very revolutionary group even at that time still the default, that Dad went to work while Mom was at home. This way, I saw my father as absent in the first place. But he was present, it is usually for the purpose of judging and punishing. I think under these circumstances, many of us grew up. All the more commendable it is that the men rush to give the relationship with their children a different quality and are present in the first place is lovely to do. However: The old cemented the role values are to be the more likely the mother is still the most trusted person of the child . Remain As is the case exclusively, any man can have from birth of his child a say in how it is represented in the structure of the family. have

men who care for itself in its intense relationship to the children and maintained a close and loving contact with them, it is also easier to teach the mothers the seriousness of their intentions with respect to the children. Of course, each of the other goes in reverse but even more to the barricades, the sooner he suspects the intentions of the other person could not possibly be based so much on the child, but rather seek to violate the ex-partner.

, The interest of both parents in fact the child's interests, as is claimed so often, then would the parents know that it is important to muster the energy for a real dialogue, ending probably in a compromise (ie, swabs and concessions from both sides calls), instead of using them on herumzuzerren the child. who

The responsibility for the escalation of the mothers custody dispute is, of course not be underestimated as well.

because of biological factors, the mother of the beginning of a closer bond with the child than the father. She held it was born, nurtured, and the child sees himself not yet separated the beginning of his life from the mother, she takes it even after birth as a true part of himself. resolve this symbiosis and the child more and more to let go is a task that the mother has to cope alone, and there is nothing comparable to afford a father would, even if he finds, of course, later in situations in which releasing emergency does.

One mother, in marriage or relationship - as is the traditional role of the case idea - has always been the primary caregiver for the child is to do with letting go even harder. In a divorce situation is required from the mother to relinquish control over the child. It is to the child suddenly to trust the Father, without even be there to.

Some mothers are in their emotional life by the divorce situation is so overwhelmed that they want to keep at least over the child and the relationship with him in control. They grasp at any cost to the child and in this situation not ready to make concessions to the father. A fundamental uncertainty at the ex-partner who may have hurt her feelings or she brings cheated, they may only read more, at least as the child relates everything to do exactly handle on as before. Customary sense of security. that also suffer under this attitude and has a child by the unusual narrowness of the new parent can be overwhelmed, is beyond question. That is why it is so important that both former partner their own feelings with regard to the separation of look as closely as possible. Only then there is the chance that the relationship problem is not moved to the child and find out the situation through awareness is a solution.

much easier and both parties would be if would not begin in the separation situation with the persuasion that the father is really a good father. If that experience could be made already in the relationship of both the mother and the children, then the circumstances are clearer, and also a mixture of the emotional world is less likely. This includes, however, that a father from the beginning its responsibilities fully and he was not only in a divorce situation think that he has children to whom he would take care of. Women have conquered with great success in the past 30 to 40 years the world of work for themselves, have demanded the privileges of men for themselves, and can now take at least to a certain extent can claim to have reached these points equal rights. Contrast, is so far the women attributed to emotional and caring field by the men voluntarily without plowing yet remained remarkably, whether from fear, as a "wimp" insult become, from career pressure, from the unwillingness to give up certain freedoms or lack of interest. Men can change that fact by their own behavior, and the women they must leave, even more, they must encourage them and realize that therein lies a relief opportunity.

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background information about the False Memory Syndrome (FMS)

The theory of "False Memory Syndrome" is ominously similar to us in increasingly popular in Germany. It will weaken inter alia, divorce and separation disputes the allegations of sexual abuse, which are used in connection with handling and custody arrangements as a weapon. The victim is, however, not the respective opponents in the divorce war, but in particular the actual victims of sexual abuse , whether adult or still children.

The term "False Memory Syndrome" is based on the theory that allegations of survivors of sexual abuse are based on so-called "false memories" that the person had been persuaded by psychotherapists allegedly suggestive.

the term was coined by American mathematician Peter Freyd and his wife Pamela. The pair faced the accusation of his daughter exposed to Jennifer, the father had sexually abused as a child (other family members Jennifer substantiated allegation). As a result, Freyd founded in 1992, "False Memory Syndrome Foundation. So they offered parents accused of sexual abuse of a platform. The Freyd noted a spread of "False Memory Syndrome" of epidemic proportions, and wrote of the blame, especially the therapies, in which the victims were straight. In particular, late recurrent memories are highly questionable, and it was very easy to create a false memory, even if such an event never happened. People who are remembered for a long time until once again be highly influenced. So much for the theory of Freyd.

Especially the term "syndrome" gives in this context seems that it was the "False Memory Syndrome" is a diagnosable disease or at least a collection of symptoms, but neither the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation nor anyone else made himself so far the effort, precise criteria for determining this "syndrome" defined. A scientific substantiation of claims Freydschen is yet to be.

this country rely on the internet mainly representatives of the thesis on the work of American psychology professor Elizabeth Loftus, who has shown in some studies, the extent to which memories actually can manipulate (for example, succeeded in the Loftus known "lost in the mall" experiment to make six of 24 subjects believe they are in their infancy actually once got lost in a shopping center, although this is not the case). is ignored all too often, however, that Loftus' study results are not suited to a derivation of generalized theories about the veracity of memories of sexual abuse. The very fact that Loftus' studies carried out under laboratory conditions and for ethical reasons, not even close to the quality of a real traumatic experience of abuse should have, they disqualified as valid proof of the existence of the "False Memory Syndrome."

The "False Memory Syndrome Foundation" itself refers also to substantiate the "syndrome" above all to the reports of affected parents who came forward in the foundation is there and turned for help after against one or both of the charges of sexual abuse was appropriate. The scientific character of such statements must of course be questioned and rightly so. In addition, it makes the parents involved do not necessarily credible, that the Foundation was no effort to verify their actual guilt or innocence.

There is evidence that sexual abuse victims forget have a significant memories of the incident itself and related events or drive. This is not necessarily the case, but memory loss, amnesia and dissociation are associated with sexual abuse generally well documented. Memories of sexual violence often come only after years or decades to light.

This emerging after long-term memories but are now massively by the advocates of the "False Memory Syndrome" in doubt. The claim is made in the room that returned memories not of the same truth and value were as constant Memories. The "False Memory Syndrome Foundation, however, leads to no evidence of" poor quality "of such memories returned, and it's never been proven in independent studies, that such memories are more or less valid than others. Also, there are

no evidence that recovered memories are based on the suggestions of therapists - patients regained both within treatments and completely independent of their memories.

complexes, such as traumatic memories of sexual abuse can not simply be implanted into a patient's brain. It is much more likely that will be addressed by authoritarian pressure within families (including adult children) the memory of such a serious injury. Not suffer without reason abused children, among other reasons so much because they trust their own perceptions can not. What must not, can not be in the family. Even if the memories were constantly present, often takes a long time until a / e survivor / r dares to comment about it. Too large are still the family and social repression.

The "False Memory Syndrome" is a construct for the relief of abuse accused people, whether they are actually guilty of it or not. For this purpose it was designed, and so is also explained that in the vicinity of the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation" increasingly becoming a predator to get there in principle a charter issued to acting out their sexual needs. The "False Memory Syndrome" is not a recognized illness, no scientifically proven phenomenon, are there any diagnostic category.

It may well be true that many a charge not in reference to sexual abuse is stable and the alleged perpetrator has done really nothing. Unjustified accusations it is in all areas of crime, to prevent so in this, and false convictions is for the judiciary.

The weighting arises, however, for the representatives of "false memory" theory a little different: expressed

Ralph Under Wager, a founding member of the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation, in 1985 in an interview:
" (It is) more . more desirable that a thousand children in abuse situations are not discovered than for one innocent person to be convicted wrongly "(" It is desirable that thousands of children go undetected in abuse situations than that one innocent person is wrongly convicted " - quotes by Dallam, source details below).

same Ralph Under Wager also gave pedophile magazine Paidika: The Journal of pedophilia. "Later became a highly controversial interview

simulates the large presence of" False Memory Syndrome Foundation in the U.S. media that the phenomenon of "False Memory Syndrome" is in fact and that there is clinically relevant. The construct is used but only in undermining the credibility of victims and the protection of the perpetrators. The public is deceptive also has the character of psychotherapists, as its sole purpose is presented, their patients traumatic experiences persuade to do. The Foundation is pretending to be also significantly have more members than is actually the case. So that it inflates the explosive nature of the "false memories" phenomenon at enormous and gives such a false picture.

Critical to this development is the increasing popularity of "False Memory" theory. Criticism in this country over what had originally constructed a deal with an abuse allegation fronted parents as a relief strategy.

The victims must drive to despair. Dealing with a modest occupied, painful subject as his own sexual abuse is difficult enough, especially when it took place in the family. It is a taboo to speak, the reality is denied, the inwardly crumbling family system should be maintained at all costs. Then appears an idea that quickly even the medical-sounding label "syndrome" glued and an excellent method is to place the victim in his whole being, including all of his feelings, perceptions and experiences in question. Inhuman, it does not get any.

(Source: Dallam, SJ, "? Crisis or Creation A Systematic Examination of" False Memory Syndrome "," http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/dallam/6.html, accessed on 07.06. 2010th
Dallam text refers to the Annex, a detailed bibliography.)